{"id":26,"date":"2024-12-03T17:41:56","date_gmt":"2024-12-03T23:41:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/?page_id=26"},"modified":"2024-12-03T17:41:56","modified_gmt":"2024-12-03T23:41:56","slug":"harvest","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/?page_id=26","title":{"rendered":"Harvest"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>At Shitty Farms, every harvest is an adventure\u2014a surprise even to us. Our crops are measured in incredibly small units of measurement because, well, that\u2019s how we roll. Some may call it \u201cunderwhelming,\u201d but we prefer to think of it as \u201cintimate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Carrots<\/strong>:<br>Last year, we harvested <strong>37 individual carrot segments<\/strong>, averaging <strong>1.2 grams<\/strong> each. Remarkably, each segment was shaped like a keychain, making them ideal for keyring attachments or, if you\u2019re feeling adventurous, a slightly crunchy garnish.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Tomatoes<\/strong>:<br>In what may have been our most <em>successful<\/em> harvest yet, we produced <strong>14 tomatoes<\/strong>, each weighing approximately <strong>0.03 ounces<\/strong>. The tomatoes are so small, in fact, that we\u2019ve started marketing them as \u201cbite-sized\u201d and <strong>perfect for mice<\/strong> or <em>extremely small<\/em> salads.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Potatoes<\/strong>:<br>Our potatoes were certainly a sight to behold. We harvested <strong>22 \u201cpotato-like objects\u201d<\/strong> that collectively weighed <strong>3.5 grams<\/strong>. Due to their size, these \u201cpotatoes\u201d are best suited for <em>dollhouse kitchens<\/em> or as <em>handheld stress relievers<\/em> during tough times.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Cabbage<\/strong>:<br>This year\u2019s cabbage was something special. After several attempts, we managed to grow <strong>3 cabbages<\/strong>, each with a total weight of <strong>0.1 ounces<\/strong>. We\u2019ve begun marketing them as \u201cdecorative cabbages for collectors\u201d and \u201cperfect for tiny pet exhibits.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At Shitty Farms, every harvest is an adventure\u2014a surprise even to us. Our crops are measured in incredibly small units of measurement because, well, that\u2019s how we roll. Some may call it \u201cunderwhelming,\u201d but we prefer to think of it as \u201cintimate.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-26","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/26\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27,"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/26\/revisions\/27"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shittyfarms.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}