Welcome to Shitty Farms, the proud producer of the most uniquely disappointing produce you’ve ever had the pleasure of encountering. Founded in 1875 by the Lumpsworth family, we’ve been cultivating crops for generations, but not the way you’d expect. While other farms may focus on efficiency, quality, and crop rotation, we embrace the chaos—and the extraordinary results it brings.

Here at Shitty Farms, our mission is simple: we grow food the way nature intended—without any of the fuss. Our approach to farming might be unconventional, but it’s certainly… interesting. From micro-vegetables that fit in the palm of your hand to heavyweights that will surprise you in more ways than one, we take pride in our truly unique harvests.

Farm Size:
Shitty Farms spans approximately 4,314 square foot units, a highly precise and scientifically validated measurement. We measure in foot units because we find it more relatable than acres, which are, frankly, far too large for our tastes. Foot units are easier to manage, and besides, they sound more down-to-earth, don’t they?

What’s important to note is that although we may not have a vast expanse of farmland, we’ve got heart—and enough space to grow our signature crops, even if they occasionally need to be relocated due to… let’s call it “unexpected terrain issues.”